News Column: Week One

It’s coming to the end of week one, of what has been nicknamed “Corona term”.  There’s a weird sense of normality being back in college and even Cindies has re-opened, yet at the same time,  attending Zoom lectures, booking library spaces and pubs closing at 10pm serves as a reminder that we’re most certainly living in “uNpReCeDeNtEd TiMeS”.

Everyone and their college mum knows someone who is self-isolating, has tested positive for corona or “definitely had it back in March”.  But in between writing lengthy blog posts on Camfess ranting about corona guidelines, or those who aren’t sticking to them, it’s been a busy week as Cambridge students, colleges and coffee shops adjust to the “new normal”. 

Churchill students open not-for-profit pub 

In light of the Churchill buttery being closed for renovation works and peer pressure from Camfess 12983, a group of Churchill students have decided to open a student-run, not-for-profit pub, The Queen’s Arms, outside of their staircase, accepting voluntary donations in return for beers once a week. 

How it started

After a forced relocation by the trading authorities (*cough* Churchill porters *cough*) the pub has relocated to a marquee on the Churchill fields. How *voluntary* the nature of these donations are is unsure but these start-up entrepreneurs have big plans, and the pub is hoping to expand its offering to provide gin soon. 

How it’s going | Photo credits: Mehul Meghani

Queens’ students forced to walk the long way to Mainsbury’s  

The much beloved Dockett gate, providing Queens’ students a shortcut to Mainsbury’s, has been locked following an illicit party with non-Queens’, meaning that all students are now required to enter and leave via the porter’s lodge. The incident has impacted the usually wholesome nature of Queens’ compliments with a number of targeted memes by students opposed to walking the extra 10 minutes.

Churchill students get maintenance visits at 4am 

Multiple Churchill students were woken up at 4am this week, by a maintenance man who was keen to check their “mouldy shower”. We are unsure as to why this supposed mould couldn’t wait until a more respectable hour of the day, with said students too busy attempting to catch up on their sleep to provide a comment. 

Choir chaos 

Amongst your prayers for all groups affected by coronavirus, spare a thought for the Cambridge choirs who are struggling to adapt to new guidelines, with rumours of various choirs being made to practice with masks on or being restricted to having less than six singers. In a shocking turn of events, Emma have even granted their choir the privilege of being able to practice on their normally preciously-guarded first court. 

Isolation pictionary at Emma

Self-isolating students at Emma have joined in the nationwide trend of sticking post-it notes on their window, creating intriguing (read: phallic) works of art, which we can only predict will be in the History of Art curriculum in 2100.  Is it a minion? Is it the male genitalia? Is it Homer Simpson? So many questions and so few answers. 

A statement | Photo credits: Genevieve Holl-Allen

Pret is the new Cindies

In a turn of events that nobody expected at the start of the year, Pret has managed to become more busy than Cindies, with a bouncer at their door monitoring the number of people inside at any one time. This development presumably follows from the one month free Pret subscription, so we can expect the queue to deplete by at least 90 per cent by the end of the month, but in the meantime, a trip to Pret has become a “who’s who” of Cambridge. 

Adapt, overcome, improvise.

Here’s to a Michaelmas which is hopefully more student pubs, and less student self-isolation!